14.02.04 - Books For the Tired
It's possible that I've had less sleep and been more stressed at some point in my life, but only in the same way that it's possible to make fire using one wet stick and an elephant (the non-spontaneously-combustible type).Do any of you start seeing smoke out the corner of your eyes when you're sleep deprived?
The girl at the local bookshop doesn't know it yet but she will one day mother my children, and possibly also father them since I won't be sticking around at that point. I went in there to buy ... well, a book, but they didn't have it. She said "I'm sorry we don't have it". It was cool.
It is a well known lie that Colin is delightful to the ladies, and so I asked him for advice on what to say to her when I go in there tomorrow and possibly buy another book so she doesn't think (know) I'm stalking her. The best we could come up with was "I don't hate you as much as I hate other double faced liars of your sex". Of course this simply won't do since she is clearly classy and needs something better than bad - so I got Google to help me out. Here are some of my favourite lines in order of how much they will set fire to your psyche and dance in it's ashes. I have supplied possible responses.
- I wish you were a door so I could bang you all night long I wish you were dead so I could laugh.
- [Look at her shirt label.] When they say, "What are you doing?": Checking to see if you were made in heaven. Yes I am, God says he hates you.
- Your dad mst be a thief, cause he stole the stars from the sky n gave them to you as eyes Your dad must be a retard, because it's genetic.
- If I were a girl, you'd convince me to be a lesbian. If I was a girl you wouldn't run away after this sentance.
- You know how they say skin is the largest organ? Not in my case So there is some vast area of you that has no skin. Lovely.
Oh man. I may have to go to bed now, that smoke in the corner of my eyes I was talking about a few paragraphs up has turned into an inferno of insanity. Also my body seems to be complaining more than usual. This is mostly due to DDR I'm sure, but that's for another blant, right now I may have to collapse and stop typing, in that order.
splinter "do you pick up meat here often?" khan