killerbees.org.uk

01.09.03 - ECTS

Yes I did manage to get into ECTS, yes I did take a gajillion photos, yes I did put off writing about the experience until I had uploaded them, yes I did forget to upload them, yes you are going to have to do with pictures of mean looking kittens such as the one below instead while I blant on about the show.

Did you spill my milk?

I felt almost like a journalist. In fact near the beginning, I was very close to getting out a notepad a pencil to make notes for a complete professional report of the show. Mainly this didn't happen because I soon realised my notes would consist solely of the word "cack", written in the organiser's blood.

Amongst the sea of suits were the occasional "Booth Babes" trying to get me to try something or other that would have no chance of selling on it's own merits; "Have you tried Nokia's NCage? The booth is just over to your ...", "No thanks, I don't hate myself". The thing about Booth Babes is that they're supposed to be sexy, and the thing about the Booth "Babes" at this show is that I constantly need to surround the word "babe" in double quotes when I reference them. I'd love to show you a picture of one of the "babes" but as I mentioned already, I never bothered uploading my pictures. So instead here's another picture of a cat that probably mugged other cats for their lunch money in school;

Bwhahaha, punch me all you like Mr. Bond, my fur is like a shield of steel!

The salvation of the show for me was going to be the later appearance of Peter Molyneux (who coincidentally Bob from work used to work with whilst at Bullfrog). Unfortunately this was going to be far too late to save me from going on a suit killing rampage and so I left to go watch Freddy Vs. Jason instead (shut up, I didn't know okay? To be honest though, as awesomely bad as Freddy Vs. Jason was, I would still rather see that again than be surrounded by those suits).

Here's another mean cat;

What? You think this is funny?

Thankfully the Nintendo tent outside rocked sufficiently. Soul Calibre II looked and felt very much like Soul Calibre I, which is no bad thing. F-Zero was, fast. And Pac-man sucked. I didn't pay much attention to Double Dash since I already know what to expect. What I did see of it looked, well it looked like what I was expecting -- not much has changed since the SNES days, but again that is not a bad thing.

Apart from Nintendo? Well the only game that really stuck out was Prince of Persia: Sands of Time. This game looks like it could be some fun in the spirit of Tomb Raider (more so than any of the sequels after Toby Gard left at any rate -- and where the hell is Galleon anyway!?).

There were lots of smaller (less expensive) games to play in the main hall, and lots of bigger (suit wearing) men to tell me about them. It's a sad thing that gaming has gone from Bedroom Coders to big business. That may sound like a stupid thing to say but if you were at the show I think you'd sympathise. Games appear to be produced on a Fordesque conveyor belt now, much like every other product out there. "Charlie we need another couple of "Stealth 'em-ups" "Okay we'll go into design tomorrow morning". WTF is a "Stealth 'em-up"!? I swear to crap I actually read that term being used in Edge magazine. Of course another way of looking at it is that our beloved games have gone professional. But why does becoming professional have to mean you can't have a soul? Monty Mole had a soul!

This cat however, this cat, he has no soul;

I'll make him an offer he can't refuse.

By the by, if you like those pictures of evil kittys then you might want to check out My Cat Hates You.

splinter "London Games Weak" khan

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