11.08.03 - More Tales From the Front-lines
You may not be aware of this but there's a war on, and I'm on the front-line, canon-fodder. The war is between the techies and the swarms of non-"IT Literate" fiends, we're hopelessly outnumbered. Far be it from me to ridicule another's knowledge deficit but here's a conversation from this morning (I changed Steve Lambert's name to Customer to protect his identity, and my job. Also I took some liberty's with paraphrasing, coz it's funnier this way);
Customer: I can't send e-mails. I can receive them but I can't send.I'm presuming that by "Information Super Highway" he means "idiot" and by "paddled" he means "am a", and by "connected to the Internet" he means "please kill me".
Me: Oh dear.
Customer: Sooooo ...
Me: Okay okay, check ... (I check the usual things with him, and find out that he's not connected to the Internet. Hurray.)
Customer: No no, I am connected to the Internet. I paddled on the Information Super Highway this morning.
Me: Can you get to a website right now?
Customer: Yes.
Me: Could you check for me?
Customer: Oh alright ... ... ... oh.
In the war, this guy is merely a captain, imagine then, what a full blown general can do. The techies are losing gentlemen, we are losing what I have dubbed the War on Stupid - it's like the War on Terrorism, only more real and not as completely made up. Now consider that it is actually completely made up.
What we need ladies, is to go on the offensive for a change. I read the following proposal on bash.cx; we take off all the warning labels from everything and let the problem sort itself. This way we can commit genocide without that icky feeling of guilt that often follows when you've just killed millions of people (or if you're Pol Pot, that lovely feeling you get in your pants).
You know now that I think about it, if we followed all of my "Modest Proposals" then there would be no one left in the world but me. Oh my. What a tragedy that would be. Now where did I leave those sarcasm tags?
I love the smell of sarcasm in the morning.
splinter "where's the Any key" khan