13.06.03 - The Puffpuff Strikes Back
Mr. Puffpuff strikes back like a thing that had previously been foiled or beaten down in some way but is now on the offensive in a way which would indicate either retaliation or reprisal. I thought I'd heard the last of Mr. Puffpuff (you may wish to look at some previous entries regarding Mr. Puffpuff for context. You may also wish that you weren't so ugly, but there's nothing I can do about that) but it seems that our paths are intertwined like a phone cored and another phone cord that have been tangled somehow through a negligent user. Though why this user should have two phone cords so close to each other I'm not sure. Maybe he's a very important person like Batman and needs two phones, you know, like the normal phone for Joey Joe Joe the regular Joe and the Big Red Phone for emergencies like when the Joker's on a Joke telling spree of death and destruction. In any case, phone cords, or ... whatever it was I was talking about.For the last few months an individual (let's call him Master Puffpuff) has been registering domains with us through one of our existing customers (let's call him Not Paul Jones, for anonymity's sake). Now I can't give you the actual domain names - the law is a strange thing and requires me to change the names to protect the guilty - but the following are examples that are not at all far off from some of the names I've been registering for Master Puffpuff (and no I'm not exaggerating);
- transcontinetaltrustbank.com
- eurotrusbankcorp.com
- citybankcorpeurope.com
- wereabankreallyandwontstealallyourmoneyoranything.com
One day Not Paul Jones phones me up and asks me why he's been billed for the domain 916scambank.com. I tell him because his associate registered it. He gets a little upset and tells me not to take any more registrations on his behalf from Master Puffpuff. Apparently this domain was registered without Not Paul Jones' consent. Now of course I asked Master Puffpuff whether he was still acting on behalf of Not Paul Jones before registering the domain but, well, I think he may have possibly ... lied to me. You see the answer he gave me was "Yes absolutely my dear friend! By GOD ALMIGHTY JESUS IT IS SO!!!!" This would seem to be in direct contrast with the answer he should have given me; "No. You see I am a 916 scam artist who preys on the innocent and stupid. Love me." thereby being a lie. I quickly suspend the domain in question but more is to come.
This morning I get a letter from a well know bank (let's call them WARPOBIOBWL which might stand for We Also Ripp People Off But It's Okay Because We're Legit). The letter states that I am to take down the website for the domain wewontnickyourmoneyyoucantrustusbank.com within 7 days or face legal action as the site suggests that it is affiliated with WAPOBIOBWL when it is, not. I think about the socio-philosophical implications of this letter like whether an ISP is responsible for it's customers' website's content, and what happens to web sites babies if I kill their mother. It takes me all of the next 10th of a second to decide that the best course of action is to ripp down every domain Master Puffpuff has registered with us. You see I now have something that looks a little bit like evidence if you squint your eyes and stand on your head drinking water while an Irish midget jumps up and down on your feet, and so I feel justified in my actions.
A real life Mr. Puffpuff within my grasp. Wow. I'm hoping Master Puffpuff will contact me to ask why his websites are down so that I can get an opportunity to tell him what a wonderful human being he is. And verbally stab him in the head.
I have to go now and do something which isn't this.
splinter "imnotacrookbank.com" khan