19.05.03 - Casey Jones
Whilst travelling home today a seemingly friendly stranger decided to play a game with me. He said it was called "Give Me All Your Money" and that I should go first, and last. He pronounced the name of the game with a South African accent and a knife. The accent scared me. Luckily I still managed to keep my wits about me and confused him with logic, by running away, very fast (the logic was that if I wasn't there he couldn't hurt me). I didn't actually come back to see if this cunning plan of mine really had confused him but I'm sure it must have since he seemed rather agitated and whenever I confuse my cat by spinning him around over my head he gets agitated too. See? Science at work.And where were the police during all this? To be honest I don't know, but I can irresponsibly speculate; they were eating crumpits (crumpets are apparently the British equivalent to America's "Donuts", or so and yanky friend of mine tells me).
This picture is to aid Americans in understanding what crumpet is ... okay okay, it's a gratuitous picture of a hotty McHotty. I don't need to justify myself to you!
Instead of feeling helpless and worried now however, I feel strangely out of breath (it's a long way from London Bridge to East Dulwich). But more than that, I feel a responsibility to rid the world of that crazy South African's kind. That is why I am launching myself into an unaccountable exercise of Vigilantism. Starting from today, I will be the Casey Jones of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, the <Michael Douglas' character's name> in Falling Down, the Garfunkel of Simon.
This is of course presuming that all or at least some of the above is true. Which it isn't. Hey, I had to write something for today's blant entry and a mugging's as good as anything, except maybe something exciting that was actually true.
Having to make up stories for my own weblog makes me wonder ... is it really worth documenting your life if it's not there? Solipsists would say yes.
splinter "cj" khan