13.05.03 - Eater, and Other Crap Stories
There is a "novel" called Eater. I don't know who it's by because I rarely take note of the authors name when I'm reading a book and now it's too late because I burnt it to a crisp. To say that this book is not good is like saying that the attempted extinction of the Jews was not good. To put it briefly, it's about an intelligent black hole that wishes to converse with Earth (and possibly eat it, I don't know because I couldn't force myself to read that far - and more to the point, I don't care. If the Earth in the "novel" is really filled with those characters then to hell with it, BURN BITCHES!).I often feel a little uneasy by thinking about what aliens would make of us if they really were up their studying our planet from up close. I feel embarrassed because of teevee shows like Saved by the Bell. I fear humanity will never live this down. The aliens are laughing their quadropodel butts off at us and wiping tears of acid from their no doubt hideous alien faces (which are also on their butts). Seriously, I lay in bed at night thinking about all the terrible teevee shows aliens could judge us on. Then I start thinking about Lucy Lui, and things take a turn (I regularly have nightmares about making out with Lucy Lui's head attached to an alien butt while crying tears of acid, yeah, I'm just strange like that I guess).
So if I could somehow make a plea to those aliens it would probably go something like this ; "Please don't read Eater, it's really, really, bad. We can also write books like Lord of the Rings", which is rather nice, read that instead ... YOU ALIEN FREAKS ... did I say that last bit outloud?"
Not entirely sure how I got onto the subject of aliens, I just wanted to say how wonderfully crap Eater is (and not even in a wonderful way).
splinter "aint no thang but a chicken wang" khan