11.05.03 - Cunning Virgins
Hi my name's Troy McCluer, you may remember me from such news events as; "Wife Shoots Actor Husband DEAD!". But of course I'm not Troy McCleur, Troy McCleur is dead. Killed by his very own Crazy Bitch wife. Why Crazy Bitch Wife!? Why!?If you don't keep up with current events (where current events means stuff that happens to the Simpsons voice actors) then that may have seemed a little strange. But then if you don't know what I'm talking about then, you're a little strange, so you should feel right at home. And if that's the case then you won't think it's strange. Woooh! A paradox!
No, I'm not Troy McCleur, but I do like to occasionally eat food and sleep at night, just like good old Troy did before that Crazy Bitch Wife shot his sweet little brains out onto the wall. We miss you Troy. Peace be with you.
Virgin Megastore has seen fit to put a live human being (of the Stupidess Cantfindarealjobicus branch) into their left store window on the corner of Oxford Street and Tottenham Court Road - as opposed to those dead not human beings that never answer me back.
Hello. Please kill me.
I'm not entirely sure what this was all about but I didn't have time to investigate as I had lost a Mr. Fitz at the time who would not survive long on his own.
It turned out that Mr. Fitz was in Borders, where I had left him. I mean honestly, how was I to know that? London's a big place you know. So I'm in Borders - the best library in the world - and I see this book;
AOL for Dummies ... oh wait ...
I'm at a loss for words. Maybe I don't need to rant on about this. After all, anyone who gets it gets it. And anyone who doesn't, won't. I love AOL, I really do, but I do wish they'd hurry up and burn in the flames of Hades for all time with razor blades up their arse. But yeah, I love those guys.
And remember - in the land of the blind, the one eyed man is immediately stabbed to death due to immense resentment and jealousy.
splinter "if you use a monitor you're not a real hacker" khan