23.04.03 - KBN Special Weeport
This Just In - End-users Are Morons!
Strongbad: Today's forcast is total crap.Thanks SB. As some of you may know, I work at an ISP - let's call it KFC, 'cause I like chicken. Anway it's fair to say that I get more than my fair share of stupid during the day, and night, and any other time those goits can find me. People call me just to be stupid over the phone. I'm guessing that it's something they have to do on a regular basis or they'll explode in a cloud of stupid.
It occured to me that not venting about the abundance of stupid in the world - and especially the amount I recieve daily - is stupid in itself (see? It's infectious). Not only would it help in some (small) way to stop me becoming a seriel killer, but it's also an Endless Source of Funny as Richard Hapnacks would put it (I don't know if there's such a person as Richard Hapnacks, but if there was then he would probably put it like that).
Above is a typical End-user doing something stupid. I'm not sure what.
I suspect he's trying to read his e-mails.
You see, I have worked out using a modified version of Strongbad's Stupid Butt formulae, that the Comedyness of a situation is equal to or more than the stupid of the situation. This means - amongst other things - that you are funny as hell, and that End-users are the funny itself (it is a well known fact amongst made-up academic circles that funny is a physical substance, usually solid in the form of poo but sometimes a gaseous substance in the form of farts).
So I've decided to blant some of my favourite stupids for you all to "enjoy". Here's a phone call transcript from yesterday (the names have been changed to protect the stupid, including me yes);
splinter: KFC can I take your order please ... I mean, how can I help you?Oooh so that's who it belongs to. I was wondering about that.
Stupid 1: My internet isn't working.
splinter: Okay in what way is it not working?Stupid 1 sounded way too pleased with himself when saying that last line, hence the ":)".
Stupid 1: What do you mean? I press the button and nothing happens. It's not working!
splinter: I see. Do you know how you connect to the internet?
Stupid 1: ...err...
splinter: Sorry, I mean do you have ADSL or is it a normal Dial-up?
Stupid 1: I don't know :)
splinter: ... ... okay, there's a line that goes from the phone socket to something that isn't a phone. Could you tell me what that something that isn't a phone looks like please?The conversation went on like this for a while until I hungup. If you just have to know and you're a masochist then I'll tell you that his reason for saying no to that last request of mine was that he didn't know where the something was. Confused? This is just a taste of what I go through everyday.
Stupid 1: No.
I seem to be going through a patch of insomnia again so I don't even know if todays entry made any sense, but to be honest I care less than I know. Trust me, that last one made sense.
splinter "stupid head" khan