Friday, 4 September 2009

Self-destruct in 5 ... 4 ... 3 ...

Killerbees is dead! Long live CroutonFist!

So long, suckers! Ahahahaha!

Until you click on the link and I see you at CroutonFist that is.

afraz "nothing poignant for the last post" khan

Friday, 31 July 2009

Blob Pricks

I noticed that that the drop shadows in Google Maps' pins do not match the pins themselves, and told my girlfriend that I would blog about it to upset her.

It worked so well she spluttered; "I am a thirty-four thirty-three year old great girl!", having obviously just lost her mind at how much of a geek I am (and that she is dating me).

I think she also said something about "anal". Didn't hear the whole sentence, but here's to hoping :|

afraz "" khan

Tuesday, 28 July 2009

Google is Crap

Alright so I already Tweeted this, but it deserves it's own post. I hope I don't appear hideously out of date with the kids (Kinterzens?) by linking TiSP.

Now that's what I call a Dirty connection. *ducks*

afraz "toilet humour" khan

Monday, 27 July 2009

Very Cross Lynx

Too dark for emo? Too happy for suicide? You'd probably like my friend's ruined hands. Brooding synth goth electro, delivered to your black brain (it's dark in their). Enjoy ... or despair, I don't know with you guys. Like what do you do when something's good, cry?

I listened to it and now I have to cleanse with kittens.

Crap.

afraz "more plugs than a plumber" khan

Tuesday, 7 July 2009

Plugs for Your Head

<plug>
Hello. Are you completely freaking nuts? Then why not get some hypnotherapy for your mental shame, at hypnosisclinic.org.uk which I am in no way affiliated with, or even condone? It's possibly run by my fiancé.
</plug>

afraz "shameless" khan

Tuesday, 9 June 2009

Abandoned, but not Remembered

I'm breaking my one year silence to report that this is not true.

That is all.

afraz "irony" khan

Sunday, 7 September 2008

Ronnieisms

Ronnie·ism: [ro-nee-is-em] -noun
  1. An utterance of such obtuseness, as to demand recording for future anecdotal reference. Named after Ronnie, for his now notorious "cheese is 100% fat" debate, and obvservations of Superman 2's darkness in 2004.
Realising that it was unfair to note down quotes out of context for future ridicule, I started recording Ronnieisms soon after Ronnie's first incredible insights into the ratio of dairy to fat way back when. People knew well what taking out my "black book" meant, it meant immortality for the words they had just vomited. It turns out however that immortality doesn't last as long as it used to, because I lost the second black book.

To commiserate this loss, I've compiled a list of ten of my favourite Ronnieisms from times gone by (though to be in keeping with the theme, this one goes up to 11). Here they are, in order of numbers:
  1. They're identical, but they don't look the same. -- Nicky
  2. Yeah, Afraz is a proper Londoner like me. We were both born in Iran. -- Ronsly Yousef-zadeh
  3. I'm average height for a girl in this country. -- Dion Azordegan
  4. This might sound stupid, but when you lie, you're not telling the truth. -- Ronsly Yousef-zadeh
  5. "How do you spell ..." - and proceeds to spell out - "... L-I-C-H-E-N?" -- Dan "the stain" Braunsteine
  6. I don't believe in X and Y chromosomes.
    -- Sarah O.D.
  7. I thought dining room was a clever way of saying toilet.
    -- Samanthuel
  8. It's easier to break records when the moon is directly above.
    -- Samanthuel (talking about breaking Olympic records with the aid of the moon's gravitational pull)
  9. "I've never met a Japanese person." "But you went to Japan?!" "Oh yeah, except when I went to Japan." -- Samanthuel
  10. I live on my own -- with other people.
    -- Vaida
  11. Grotesque is not necessarily negative.
    -- Jacqueline Van der Bottom